Thinking of you

   Our family is not the same family that we were when Drew was here with us. We have changed in good ways and in bad ways. That's life and that's reality after loosing a child. We try very hard to go on each day and live it to the fullest in honor of our amazing little boy but some days you still want to shout from the roof tops " My little boy died and it sucks!". Society won't let you grieve everyday, it tends to make people very uncomfortable. I often feel like I am not allowed to shout my anger over loosing my son to everyone or feel sorry for myself and my family. So pulling myself together for the good of my husband and oldest son was my only option. Life has a way of making you move forward even if you don't want to. 
 We now have a baby girl and 2 years later life is becoming a new kind of normal for us. I often wonder how he would react to a little sister! I know he is watching over his big brother and now his little sister. I would give anything to have a hug from him, hear his voice or just see him again. At times the baby reminds me of Drew and when that happens it gives me a sense that he is still with us. 
   I miss my son more than anyone could ever imagine. I am always thinking of him, and missing him. Someday far, far in the future I hope we will be together again.