1 Year later

It has been one year since Drew went to heaven. It seems like forever ago. Now we are getting ready for Christmas. This is not our first Christmas without Drew, but it is the first Christmas Brian and I actually feel the intense pain of not having him here with us. Last year it was all so new and such a fog, we really did not take it all in.

It is all decorated for him down at the cemetery. He has a few wreaths, a small tree with a Buzz ornament, a Santa light and of course a green stocking. It is the most unnatural feeling to visit the cemetery where your little boy is buried and decorate around his headstone, instead of buying and wrapping special presents you know will light up his smile and bring him such joy.

Right now Toy Story is on T.V. That may be the most difficult thing to watch and to hear. It reminds me of how he watched Toy Story 1, 2, or 3 multiple times each day and night. He loved that movie and actually memorized so much of each version. We loved listening to him act out the movie with his Buzz, Woody and other toys.

My prayer for each day is that is gets easier to remember all the wonderful memories without so much hurt. Hopefully in time we will feel like he is with us and always in our hearts instead of so far away in heaven.